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A Comprehensive
Admissions Essay Help Course (with samples):
Lesson Four:
Transitions
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Applicants
often ignore transitions to their own detriment. A good essay must use transitions
within paragraphs and especially between paragraphs to preserve the logical flow
of the essay. An essay without good transitions is like a series of isolated islands;
the reader will struggle to get from one point to the next. Use transitions as
bridges between your ideas. As you move from one paragraph to the next, you should
not have to explain your story in addition to telling it. If the transitions between
paragraphs require explanation, your essay is either too large in scope or the
flow is not logical. A good transition statement will straddle the line between
the two paragraphs.
You should not have to think
too much about how to construct transition sentences. If the concepts in your
outline follow and build on one another naturally, transitions will write themselves.
To make sure that you are not forcing your transitions, try to refrain from using
words such as, "however," "nevertheless," and "furthermore."
If you are having trouble transitioning between paragraphs or are trying to force
a transition onto a paragraph that has already been written, then this may indicate
a problem with your overall structure. If you suspect this to be the case, go
back to your original outline and make sure that you have assigned only one point
to each paragraph, and that each point naturally follows the preceding one and
leads to a logical conclusion. The transition into the final paragraph is especially
critical. If it is not clear how you arrived at this final idea, you have either
shoe-horned a conclusion into the outline, or your outline lacks focus.
If you are confident in
your structure, but find yourself stuck on what might make a good transition,
try repeating key words from the previous paragraph and progressing the idea.
If that doesn't work, try this list of common transitions as your last resort:
If you are adding additional
facts or information:
as well, and, additionally,
furthermore, also, too, in addition, another, besides, moreover
If you are trying to
indicate the order of a sequence of events:
first of all, meanwhile,
followed by, then, next, before, after, last, finally, one month later, one year
later, etc.
If you are trying to
list things in order of importance:
first, second etc., next,
last, finally, more importantly, more significantly, above all, primarily
If you are trying to
connect one idea to a fact or illustration:
for example, for instance,
to illustrate, this can be seen
To indicate an effect
or result:
as a result, thus, consequently,
eventually, therefore,
To indicate that one
idea is the opposite of another:
nonetheless, however, yet,
but, though, on the other hand, although, even though, in contrast, unlike, differing
from, on the contrary, instead, whereas, nevertheless, despite, regardless of
When comparing one thing
to another:
In a different sense, similarly,
likewise, similar to, like, just as, conversely.
EXERCISE
#7: TRANSITIONS
Connect the following sentences
using an effective transition, when needed. (In some cases, the two sentences
will be able to stand without a transition.)
- Ordinarily, I took my responsibility
seriously and would write down classmates' names to preserve the silence and decorum
of the school environment.
When a different teacher
walked in, a teacher known to punish too hard and painfully, I decided to save
my friends from his hard strokes, and I erased all the names.
- Despite the windy conditions
and below freezing temperatures, I could not tear myself away from the awe-inspiring
beauty of the cosmos.
Despite the frustration
and difficulties inherent in scientific study, I cannot retreat from my goal of
universal understanding.
- But the sadness with which
she responded, stating, "He died when he was a baby," convinced me that
it was true.
It affected me as nothing
ever would again.
- Finishing the test in an
unspectacular six minutes and five seconds, I stumbled off the erg more exhausted
than I had ever been. That night, I went home and caught a cold.
Had I followed my survivalist
and rationalist instincts, I would have quit rowing then and there;
- Immediately, I realized
that I must dedicate my life to understanding the causes of the universe's beauty.
The hike taught me several
valuable lessons that will allow me to increase my understanding through scientific
research.
- After my grandfather's
death, I began to understand and follow his sage advice.
I pulled out a picture of
my grandfather and me at Disneyland.
- Often, she had to work
from dusk to dawn living a double life as a student and a financially responsible
adult.
My mother managed to keep
a positive disposition.
- In addition to working
and studying, she found time to make weekly visits to terminally ill and abandoned
children in the local hospital.
My mother developed the
value of selflessness.
- My mother made me learn
Indonesian, the official language of our country.
Also, she wanted me to develop
interests in various academic and extracurricular fields.
Answers:
1) However; 2) Similarly;
3) The shock of this revelation at such a tender age; 4) That was three seasons
ago. 5) In addition; 6) To cope with his passing; 7) Despite the burdens she faced;
8) From her experiences during college; 9) My mother did not only want me to have
a broad knowledge of languages.
Continue
to Essay Clichés
From
ESSAYS THAT WILL GET YOU INTO COLLEGE,
by Amy Burnham, Daniel Kaufman, and Chris Dowhan. |
Copyright
1998 by Dan Kaufman. Reprinted by arrangement with Barron's Educational
Series, Inc. |
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