Graduate School
Personal Statement Secrets
By Geoffrey Cook, Founder EssayEdge.com
EssayEdge.com contains thousands of pages
of free admissions essay advice by Harvard-educated editors.
The best way to approach your personal statement
for graduate school is to imagine that you have five minutes with someone
from the admissions committee. How would you go about making the best case
for yourself while holding the listener's interest? What would you include
and omit in your story? Figuring out the answer to these questions is critical
to successfully preparing an effective statement.
To arrive at these answers, you should begin
by asking yourself two specific questions:
- Why have I chosen to attend graduate school
this specific field, and why did I choose to apply to this particular school's
program?
- What are my qualifications for admission?
The answers will not necessarily come easily
to you, but this exercise will have great practical benefit in readying you
to write an outstanding personal statement. By answering each question thoroughly,
you will have given much thought to yourself, your experiences, and your goals,
thereby laying the groundwork for formulating an interesting and persuasive
presentation of your own personal story.
As the founder of EssayEdge.com,
the Net's largest admissions essay prep company, I have seen firsthand the
difference a well-written
application essay can make. Through its free online admissions essay help
course and 300 Harvard-educated editors, EssayEdge.com helps
tens of thousands of student each year improve their essays and gain admission
to graduate schools
ranging from Harvard to State U.
Having personally edited over 2,000 admissions
essays myself for EssayEdge.com,
I have written this article to help you avoid the most common essay flaws. If
you remember nothing else about this article,
remember this: Be Interesting. Be Concise.
Why Graduate School?
Graduate school
is a serious commitment, and it may have been your goal for a long time. Describing
your early exposure
to a field can offer effective insight into your core objectives. Watch out,
however, that you do not your point in such a clichéd, prepackaged way
as to make your reader cringe. For example, you should not start your essay, "I
have always wanted to.." or "I have always known that _______ was my calling." Instead,
you should discuss specific events that led to your interest in the field.
Graduate school is, of course, a means to an
end, and admissions committees prefer students who know where they're going
and to what use they'll put their education (though the occasional soul-searcher,
who may exhibit exceptional raw potential, is welcomed). For many people,
the long-term goal is to work in academia, and to differentiate yourself in
such cases, you can stress more specific objectives such as your research
interests.
Note: Read the instructions carefully. Sometimes
schools will ask for a statement of purpose describing your specific research
interests in lieu of, or in addition to, a personal statement that emphasizes
your character and qualities. For these types of essays, you can assume that
a faculty member will be reading your statement, but it should still be accessible
enough for a non-specialist to understand. Remember that such essays should
also still aim to engage the reader in a way that conveys your own enthusiasm
for the subject matter.
Avoid mistakes like discussing the school's rank
or prestige, or simply offering generic praise. Instead, mention faculty members
by name and indicate some knowledge of their work. Consider contacting faculty
members first and discussing their current research projects and your interest
in studying under them. Then refer to these contacts in your essay.
Why Am I Qualified?
The way to prove your qualification is not to
list attributes you believe you possess but to discuss concrete experiences
that show your abilities and qualities. As always, details are paramount.
The rest of your application has already summarized your accomplishments and
your activities. Show the reader what you did in concrete terms, and again,
highlight your active roles.
The experiences that demonstrate your qualification
are not necessarily distinct from those that explain your motivation. You
shouldn't plan on dividing the essay into two separate sections for each,
but rather organize the structure by topic and extrapolate insights as they
develop. It's important that you think of the essay as an integrated whole,
not as a checklist of questions you must answer.
Focus on research experience, since research
will be your main job for the duration of your studies. Be specific about
what you did. If you worked for a year under a professor, you might consider
emphasizing one particular project and exploring that in depth. The experience
does not have to have been a major undertaking: Any practical experience can
be used as long as you demonstrate your enthusiasm and aptitude for the field
of study.
Remember to keep the discussion personal. Do
not get bogged down in minute details and jargon. Ultimately, the focus of
the story should remain on you and your growth or success.
TOP 10 GRADUATE SCHOOL ESSAY WRITING TIPS
1. Don't Write a Term Paper.
As a prospective graduate student, you may be tempted to try to impress your
reader with an already tight grasp of academic style. Resist this temptation!
You will have plenty of time to produce labyrinthine sentences and sophisticated
vocabulary. Your reader will have seen too many essays to appreciate bewilderingly
advanced prose. Write clearly and personably.
2. Don't Bore the Reader. Do Be Interesting.
Admissions officers have to read hundreds of essays, and they must often skim.
Abstract rumination has no place in an application essay. Admissions officers
aren't looking for a new way to view the world; they're looking for a new
way to view you, the applicant. The best way to grip your reader is to begin
the essay with a captivating snapshot. Notice how the blunt, jarring "after" sentence
creates intrigue and keeps the reader's interest.
Before: I am a compilation of many
years of experiences gained from overcoming the relentless struggles of life.
After: I was six years old, the eldest of six children in the Bronx,
when my father was murdered.
3. Do Use Personal Detail. Show, Don't
Tell!
Good essays are concrete and grounded in personal detail. They
do not merely assert "I learned my lesson" or that "these lessons are useful
both on and off the field." They show it through personal detail. "Show, don't
tell" means that if you want to relate a personal quality, do so through your
experiences without merely asserting it.
Before: If it were not for a strong support system which
instilled into me strong family values and morals, I would not be where I
am today.
After: Although my grandmother and I didn't have a car or running
water, we still lived far more comfortably than did the other families I
knew. I learned an important lesson: My grandmother made the most of what
little she had, and she was known and respected for her generosity. Even
at that age, I recognized the value she placed on maximizing her resources
and helping those around her.
The first example is vague and could have been
written by anybody. But the second sentence evokes a vivid image of something
that actually happened, placing the reader in the experience of the applicant.
4. Do Be Concise. Don't Be Wordy.
Wordiness not only takes up valuable space, but also confuses the important
ideas you're trying to convey. Short sentences are more forceful because they
are direct and to the point. Certain phrases, such as "the fact that," are usually
unnecessary. Notice how the revised version focuses on active verbs rather than
forms of "to be" and adverbs and adjectives.
Before: My recognition of the fact
that the book was finally finished was a deeply satisfying moment that will
forever linger in my memory.
After: Completing the book at last gave me an enduring sense of fulfillment.
5. Do Address Your Weaknesses. Don't
Dwell on Them.
The personal statement may be your only opportunity to explain deficiencies
in your application, and you should take advantage of it. Be sure to explain
them adequately: "I partied too much to do well on tests" will not help your
application. The best tactic is to spin the negatives into positives by stressing
your attempts to improve; for example, mention your poor first-quarter grades
briefly, then describe what you did to bring them up.
6. Do Vary Your Sentences and Use Transitions.
The best essays contain a variety of sentence lengths mixed within any given
paragraph. Also, remember that transition is not limited to words like nevertheless,
furthermore or consequently. Good transition flows from the natural thought
progression of your argument.
Before: I started playing piano
when I was eight years old. I worked hard to learn difficult pieces. I began
to love music.
After: I started playing the piano at the age of eight. As I learned
to play more difficult pieces, my appreciation for music deepened.
7. Do Use Active Voice Verbs.
Passive-voice expressions are verb phrases in which the subject receives the
action expressed in the verb. Passive voice employs a form of the word to
be, such as was or were. Overuse of the passive voice makes prose seem flat
and uninteresting.
Before: The
lessons that have prepared me for my graduate studies were taught to me by
my mother.
After: My mother taught me lessons that will prove invaluable as I
pursue my research interests.
8. Do Seek Multiple Opinions.
Ask your friends and family to keep these questions in mind:
- Does my essay have one central theme?
- Does my introduction engage the reader? Does
my conclusion provide closure?
- Do my introduction and conclusion avoid summary?
- Do I use concrete experiences as supporting
details?
- Have I used active-voice verbs wherever possible?
- Is my sentence structure varied, or do I use
all long or short sentences?
- Are there any
clichés, such as "cutting-edge" or "learned
my lesson"?
- Do I use transitions appropriately?
- What about the essay is memorable?
- What's the worst part of the essay?
- What parts of the essay need elaboration or
are unclear?
- What parts of the essay do not support my main
argument?
- Is every single sentence crucial to the essay?
This must be the case.
- What does the essay reveal about my personality?
9. Don't Wander. Do Stay Focused.
Many applicants try to turn the personal statement into a complete autobiography.
Not surprisingly, they find it difficult to pack so much information into
such a short essay, and their essays end up sounding more like a list of experiences
than a coherent, well-organized thought. Make sure that every sentence in
your essay exists solely to support one central theme.
10. Do Revise, Revise, Revise.
The first step in an improving any essay is to cut, cut, and cut some more.
EssayEdge.com's
free admissions essay help course and Harvard-educated editors will be invaluable
as you polish your essay to perfection. The EssayEdge.com free
help course guides you through the entire essay-writing process, from brainstorming
worksheets and question-specific strategies for the twelve most common essay
topics to a description of ten introduction types and editing checklists.
SAMPLE ESSAY
I have been planning a career in geological sciences for several years, but
as an undergraduate I concentrated on getting a solid background in math and
science. After graduation, I took a job to allow myself time to thoroughly
think through my plans and to expose myself to a variety of work situations.
This strategy has been very valuable to me in rounding out my career plans.
During the past 18 months I have had firsthand
experience with computers in a wide array of business applications. This has
stimulated me to think about ways in which computers could be used for scientific
research. One idea that particularly fascinates me is mathematical modeling
of natural systems, and I think those kinds of techniques could be put to
good use in geological science. I have always enjoyed and been strong in areas
that require logical, analytical thought, and I am anxious to combine my interest
in earth science with my knowledge of, and aptitude for, computer-related
work. There are several specific areas that I have already studied that I
think would lend themselves to research based on computing techniques, including
mineral phase relations in igneous petrology and several topics in structural
geology.
I have had both lecture/lab and field courses
in structural geology, as well as a short module dealing with plate tectonics,
and I am very interested in the whole area. I would like to explore structural
geology and tectonics further at the graduate level. I am also interested
in learning more about geophysics. I plan to focus on all these areas in graduate
school while at the same time continuing to build up my overall knowledge
of geology.
My ultimate academic goal is to earn a Ph.D.,
but enrolling first in a master's program will enable me to explore my various
interests and make a more informed decision about which specific discipline
I will want to study in depth. As far as long-term plans, I hope to get a
position at a university or other institution where I can indulge my primary
impulse, which is to be involved in scientific research, and also try my hand
at teaching.
My decision to focus on math and science as an
undergraduate and to explore the computer industry after college has equipped
me with a unique set of strengths to offer this program. The depth of my interest
in geology has only grown in my time away from academia, and although I have
identified several possible areas of specialization through prior studies,
I look forward to contributing my fresh perspective on all subjects.
To read many more sample law school personal
statements, visit:
http://www.essayedge.com/
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